Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
sings VERY loud when we sing to him
loves to take naps in his swing
This last month Jack has also:
Gone to Grandma Cindy and Grandpa Dave's cabin
Helped dad decorate his room
Spent Easter weekend with the Bailey Family in Salt Lake City
Had a visit from the Easter Bunny who brought him a new bouncer seat and books
Wore a cute new Easter outfit
Every day I find I am more and more grateful for this little monkey in our lives. He has helped heal part of my broken heart and has helped us find joy in so many small things.
Monday, April 13, 2009
No, we aren't totally losing it. . . we were playing a murder mystery dinner game set in Napa Valley with Jason's sibling this weekend when we went up to Salt Lake City. The game was fun . . . but we nearly all peed our pants laughing while we "dressed" our parts. OUTTA CONTROL! Even our own children were giving us strange looks . . . wonder why . . .
Thursday, April 9, 2009
For those of you who know me and have read my blog for awhile, you know that I cherish motherhood above all else. There is NOTHING I would rather do than be a mother to my sweet boys. However, those of you who really know me know that I tend to be hard on myself. You would know how inadequate I feel and how I set unrealistic expectations for myself. Perhaps you could call me the "Clark Griswold" of motherhood.
See, I grew up with the Bionic Woman as my mother. I have watched her tow cars, install toilets, mow the lawn, and scrub her house. I have then watched her graciously attend black tie events, travel the world, serve in church callings and care for her parents, children and neighbors. Really, there is nothing my mother can't do. In fact, if I do something particularly amazing Jason will often say, "Wow! That was Cindy-status!" It is the supreme compliment to me.
Today as Jason told me how he appreciates me, I couldn't help but think about how I can't meet up to my own expectations. I know all women feel this way at times . . . so I think many of you may understand. I hope . . .
When I was pregnant with Gavin I had a vision of how I expected things to be. Well, that didn't go the way I anticipated AT ALL and so when I found out I was pregnant with Jack, I revamped my thoughts on motherhood. Hopefully they were more concrete and meaningful. Still with all the appreciation and gratitude in my heart for Jack, I still had expectations for myself that I can't seem to meet.
I expected that I would have a sparkling clean home, dinner on the table every night and showered in the morning. I thought that I could make it to the gym every day and play tennis with my mother once a week. I thought I would be able to catch up on my scrapbook and organize my home videos. I thought we would go out with friends every Saturday night and that our baby would be so good he could just come along. I thought I would spend hours in the rocking chair with at baby who loved to cuddle as much as I wanted to cuddle him. It just hasn't gone that way . . .
Please don't misunderstand my criticism on myself as being ungrateful. Grateful doesn't even seem to fit the way I feel - it's more like supreme gratitude. I have a healthy baby who has made it here to stay with us. I can't ask for more than that. Now, I just have to accept my feeble attempts of being a mother and wife to my three amazing boys. I may not be the ideal mother and wife, but I am trying hard. I guess I am striving for progress.