Our Story . . . Our Life

Owen Is Eleven Months Old

2012-01-22T10:03:00.000-08:00

Owen is 11 months old!

This month Owen:

has started to walk along the furniture

loves to bang doors and cabinets

started climbing stairs

is eating more table food

loves to clap

has the sweetest belly laugh

20 Questions According to Jack

2012-01-20T21:42:00.000-08:00

Jack, at three years old these are some questions we asked you:

1. What is your favorite color? GREEN

2. What is your favorite toy? MY TRAIN

3. What is your favorite fruit? GRAPES

4. What id your favorite TV show? GARFIELD

5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? McDONALDS

6. What is your favorite outfit? DADDY'S CLOTHES

7. What is your favorite game? YELLOW SKATEBOARD ON DADDY'S PHONE

8. What is your favorite snack? FRUIT SNACKS

9. What is your favorite animal? SHEEP

10. What is your favorite song? JESUS WANTS ME FOR A SUNBEAM

11. What is your favorite book? THE JESUS BOOK

12. Who is your friend? MAX

13. What is your favorite cereal? CHEERIOS

14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? TAKE A WALK

15. What is your favorite drink? APPLE JUICE

16. What is your favorite holiday? CHRISTMAS?

17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? MY BEA AND TURKEY AND BRONCO (translation = blankie, stuffed bear and dog)

18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? WAFFLES

19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? CAKE

20. What do you want to be when you grow up? I WANT TO PLAY

Jack Is Three Years Old

2012-01-15T10:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Jack,

Happy third birthday! This year has been full of so many milestones and accomplishments for you! Your fun loving personality has kept us laughing and you intensity has sent us through the roof a time or two (or three or four). You know just when to make us smile and just when we need a hug. You are very aware of the emotions of the people around you and many times this year I heard you say to one or more of us, "Be happy!" I just love that about you. You want everyone to feel loved and to be happy. What a wonderful quality.

You have learned to do so many things this year. You have learned to speak so much better and we have full conversations now. You definitely know how to let us know what you want! You took swimming lessons, a movement class and a music class. You learned how to ride a bike, swing on a swing, jump on a trampoline and drive a little tractor.

You have grown so much in the last year. You are now in senior nursery at church and you will be starting preschool this upcoming fall. You do pretty well with other kids. You are still learning how to share and how to work with other kids your age. Sometimes I think you think you are an adult. you certainly can keep up with adults for sure!

You have made our world so joyful, busy, loud, and wonderful these past three years. You are one of the very brightest spots in my life. We love you, Jack. You are an amazing boy with so much potential. Here is to another fun and adventurous year with you!

Love,
Your Momma

Jack's 3rd Birthday

2012-01-14T09:56:00.000-08:00

Tonight we had Jack's third birthday party.

When I asked him last month what kind of a party he wanted, he said, "I want an I-Am-A-Robot-Party."

So, a robot party it was.

We had a wonderful evening with all of Jack's grandparents, Aunt Trish, Aunt Becca, Uncle James and Aunt Lauren.

Jack seemed to have a great time and was thoroughly impressed with the robot Jason and I built.

I was too!

Happy birthday my little Jack Jack. You are growing up!

CHEESE!

2012-01-10T09:53:00.000-08:00

Owen has started this DARLING "cheese" face. He scruches up his nose and flashes his goofy half-grown-in-teeth. I am crazy about it!
And of course, Jack has his "cheese" face too. Sometimes I feel like the luckiest momma in the world when I look at these boys!

So Long 2011 . . .

2011-12-31T11:13:00.001-08:00

Dear 2011,

You have brought so much to our lives this year.

Jason and I decided to describe you with these three words:

JOY

GROWTH

CHAOS

Love,

The Bailey Family

Jack The Toolman

2011-12-29T08:45:00.000-08:00

Aunt Lauren and Uncle James gave Jack some tools this year for Christmas! He loves to wear his tool belt!

One Of Those Days

2011-12-28T16:37:00.001-08:00

The holidays are over. The Christmas decorations are down. The house is organized and all new toys have a place. The chaos of traveling is through and there are a few moments of quiet. Sometimes the quiet is bad for me. Maybe I create chaos to help avoid bad days like these. I don't know.

Today I felt anguish again.

Did I mention it was a bad day?

I miss Gavin so much.

I think over and over about what his three months here on earth were like. I remember the pain of losing him - but the peace of knowing he is mine forever too. It is such a battle in my mind on days like this.

My mom always knows the right thing to say to me. Today she sent out this quote in an email. Thanks mom. You are the perfect mom for a crazy girl like me. :)

President George Albert Smith Jr. said:

"If I were to think, as so many think, that now that my beloved wife and my beloved parents are gone, that they have passed out of my life forever and that I shall never see them again, it would deprive me of one of the greatest joys that I have in life: the contemplation of meeting them again, and receiving their welcome and their affection, and of thanking them from the depths of a grateful heart for all they have done for me.
When we realize that death is only one of the steps that the children of God shall take throughout eternity, and that it is according to his plan, it robs death of its sting and brings us face to face with the reality of eternal life. Many families have been called upon to say good-bye temporarily to those they love. When such passings occur, they disturb us, if we will let them, and thus bring great sorrow into our lives. But if our spiritual eyes could be opened and we could see, we would be comforted, I am sure, with what our vision would behold. The Lord has not left us without hope. On the contrary he has given us every assurance of eternal happiness, if we will accept his advice and counsel while here in mortality.
This is not an idle dream. These are facts."

Christmas Day

2011-12-25T20:50:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!

Christmas this year at Jason's parents' house was wonderful. The boys had a great time opening gifts and spending time with family.

Oh how I love the holidays!

Mery Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Polar Express

2011-12-23T20:49:00.000-08:00

We spend Christmas up in Salt Lake City with Jason's family this year. One of the REALLY fun things we were able to do was to go on the Polar Express in Heber. They have a fun old train up there and we all wear pajamas and see Santa on the train! It was so fun to have all of Jason's family together and to watch Jack play with his cousins. He sure loves them!

Jack loved the train. He danced up and down the aisle and sang Christmas songs. As for me - nothing makes me happier than seeing my boys happy. It was a WONDERFUL evening.

Thank you Grandma and Grandpa Bailey!

Owen Is Ten Months Old

2011-12-22T16:36:00.000-08:00

Owen is 10 months old!

This month Owen:

weighs 20 lb. 3 oz

is 28 inches long

is standing up all the time

loves to crawl and chase after Jack

has developed the same high pitched scream Jack had ( and . . . ummm . . . still has)

likes to fake laugh

claps his hands when you ask him too

sleeps through the night

still loves his swing to nap in

has tried to crawl up the stairs twice and has fallen down them twice

seems to always have some bruise on his cheek for forehead from a tumble

is a sweet and fun loving boy

All He Wants For Christmas Is . . .

2011-12-20T20:36:00.000-08:00

A big green tractor.

Yes, Santa knew we wouldn't be at our house for Christmas so he brought Jack and Owen their gift a little early this year!

When Jack sat (and screamed) on Santa's lap this year he told Santa he wanted a green tractor. When Jack left Santa with a candy cane in hand that night - he was confused. He said, "But I wanted a green tractor . . . not a candy."

Well, my sweet Jack - Santa heard you and now you and Owen will have fun riding in your new green tractor!

Thank you Santa!

Mortensen Christmas Party

2011-12-19T20:33:00.000-08:00

Tonight we had my family's Christmas party. Since we are spending Christmas with Jason's family this year - we had an early celebration with mine. Oh, how the boys loved pre-Christmas!

I swear Jason loves the toys are much as the boys do!

Christmas Crafts

2011-12-17T20:45:00.000-08:00

This month has been full of festive crafts here in the Bailey home! Thanks to my great friends (and Pinterest, of course) we spent all night making these fun holiday decorations for our homes!

A Few Fun Family Pics

2011-12-11T16:32:00.000-08:00

Jolly Old St. Nick

2011-12-10T16:28:00.000-08:00

Jack and Owen saw Santa last night.

Through Jack's crying/screaming/terror he said, "I want a green tractor!"

This picture is one for the books!

The Magical Forrest

2011-12-09T16:22:00.000-08:00

Tonight we took the kids with some friends to Opportunity Village's Magical Forrest.

Jack loved the train and carousel.

Owen was mesmerized by the lights.

The kids loved it and we deemed it a successful outing!

(Cause all you parents out there KNOW when an outing is NOT successful!)

Christmas Box Angel Tree

2011-12-06T16:13:00.000-08:00

Every December 6th the cemetery does a program based on Richard Evans' book "The Christmas Box Angel." They light up a huge Christmas tree and we can hang ornaments with our child's name engraved on it.

This is our fifth year going.

FIVE years.

Our fifth Christmas.

Sometimes I just miss Gavin so much it hurts.

Sometimes it all makes sense and I feel so much peace.

But the miracle in my life is that I am at a place where I can feel both joy and grief.

Five years ago I thought I would never feel happiness again - but I do.

I still miss him.

I still grieve and my heart aches.

But I have been given much to bring me joy and happiness.

It was so nice to go tonight and be reminded of all the things that are TRULY important.

Life is good.

Gingerbread Cookies

2011-12-05T16:08:00.000-08:00

The boys helped us make gingerbread cookies tonight for family night.

Jack was sure proud of his cookies!

Biker Dude

2011-12-04T16:01:00.000-08:00

Jack has learned how to ride his "pedals" as he calls it. (His bike) This is another one of his great outfits he wears around while he rides his bike.

Owen's Sucker

2011-12-03T15:59:00.000-08:00

Owen had his first sucker today while Jason gave him a haircut and a bath. He screamed hysterically when it was gone.

Must take after his mom . . .

2011-12-02T16:03:00.000-08:00

Today we took the boys to do a little Christmas shopping.

This is how Owen rolls in the shopping cart.

It's like he owns the place!

Gavin's Christmas Tree

2011-12-01T16:04:00.000-08:00

Gavin's Christmas Tree is my very favorite Christmas decoration in our house. It is bittersweet to decorate it every year - but I love the glow and reminder of peace it brings into our home.
I love my boys!

Goofy Jack

2011-11-29T16:19:00.001-08:00

This was just too funny not to post . . . This kid has a personality the size of the Sun!

Elf On The Shelf

2011-11-28T16:18:00.000-08:00

Tonight for family night we introduced the boys to The Elf on the Shelf.

Jack named him Pinko.

Go figure . . .
He knows if you've been good or bad - so be good for goodness sake!

Decorating Gavin For Christmas

2011-11-27T16:16:00.000-08:00

We, of course, went over to decorate Gavin for Christmas this weekend as well.

Please excuse the pajamas and messy hair . . . it was a Sunday evening.

You know how that goes!

(Check out Owen's face in this picture! Pretty funny!)

I can't believe this will be our fifth year decorating for Christmas at the cemetery.

Time is so strange.

It feels like forever and yet it feels like it was all just yesterday.

Decorating for Christmas

2011-11-26T16:08:00.000-08:00

It is Christmas-time in the Bailey home! We had so much fun decorating the house today. I am so grateful for a wonderful family to share these special times with.

Turkey Day

2011-11-25T16:04:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving here in Las Vegas with my family and some of my dad's family that we haven't seen for almost 13 years! It was a great day!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T03:39:00.000-08:00

Today there is so much to be grateful for.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Bliss

2011-11-23T01:47:00.000-08:00

This past week a good friend of mine dropped off a CD of pictures she had taken for me when Owen was a week old. I was so excited to see what she had done!

I totally started crying when I saw this picture . . . The word that came to my mind was BLISS.

I still remember those first few weeks after Owen was born. I literally remember sitting on the couch holding my sleeping newborn and watching my happy two year old play and thinking to myself, "I want to freeze time."

I didn't have much responsibility for anything other than taking care of my boys for that time. I let everything go by the wayside and I have to say - I am glad I did that. My house may have been a disaster and laundry piled to the ceiling. I may have neglected other work and church responsibilities for a time, but those few precious weeks with Owen were blissful.

Now, nine months later, life is back to chaos and hectic schedules. Life has returned to its normal and busy pace. Now Owen isn't a sleeping newborn and Jack is a little more older, wild and crazier too. But just looking at these pictures helped me remember that blissful time at the beginning of this year where my life stood still for a moment and I was able to love on these sweet boys I have been given without another care in the world.

I am grateful for my life experiences that have taught me to be grateful for the small things like this. Life is so much more meaningful and enjoyable when we can savor the simple and small things.

Owen Is Nine Months Old

2011-11-22T20:44:00.001-08:00

This cute little man is 9 months old today!

this month Owen:

weighs 20 lbs

crawls all over the house (mostly arm crawls)

can pull himself up to stand

eats and eats and eats

had his first hospital experience for a urological procedure

had his fourth haircut

loves to give kisses

has four teeth

belly laughs when he is bugging Jack

loves watching Baby Einstein and jumping in his jumper to the music

says Dada and Baba and Nana

He is such a blessing in our lives. I am so grateful for his sweet spirit and calm nature!

Owen's Surgery

2011-11-21T20:43:00.000-08:00

Today Owen had a little urological procedure done at the hospital. He did well and was such a champ! Now he is home recovering and cuddling in my arms.

2011 has been the year of medical "procedures" for us! Let's hope for a less procedure-filled 2012!

Owen's Top Teeth

2011-11-17T20:38:00.000-08:00

This picture cracks me up. Isn't this one of the perks for having kids - making them take ridiculous pictures to document their life?

Potty Training

2011-11-15T20:29:00.000-08:00

Where have a been these last two weeks?

Gearing up and preparing for potty training Jack - that's where!

So, I read the books.

Went to the store and bought all of this . . .

And attempted potty training.

This is how well it went . . .

After two hours the first day I drank two Diet Cokes, ate a HUGE piece of cake and took half a Valium.

We shall try again another day.

Owen's First Teeth

2011-11-01T15:14:00.000-07:00

You probably can't see it - but Owen got his first tooth (bottom left) on 10/11/2011 and his second (bottom right) on 10/31/2011.

Trick or Treat!

2011-10-31T15:17:00.000-07:00

We were so excited for Halloween this year. We decorated the house (it looked so much more fun in the dark) and we got the kiddos all dressed up and headed out to trick or treat with some friends! Jack was insane about it and was really bossy telling everyone where to go. Owen slept through most of it. Oh the candy we have in this house right now . . .

Bye Bye Batman and Robin!

We have had a fun Halloween!

Owen's First Halloween

2011-10-30T15:12:00.000-07:00

BOO!

Scared yet?

Halloween Festivities

2011-10-29T14:40:00.000-07:00

We have had so many fun Halloween activities this week! I swear I feel like Halloween is lasting forever this year . . . good thing it is my favorite holiday!

OUR WARD TRUNK OR TREAT

JACK'S MUSIC CLASS HALLOWEEN PARTY

GRANDMA CINDY AND GRANDPA DAVE'S TRUCK OR TREAT

HAY RIDE AND PUMPKIN PATCH

CARVING PUMPKINS AT UNCLE JAMES AND AUNT LAUREN'S HOUSE

PLAY GROUP KID HALLOWEEN PARTY

Remembering Four Years and An Angel

2011-10-28T12:32:00.000-07:00

Four years ago we watched as our sweet baby Gavin returned to Heaven. Heaven received another Angel that day and we were left with empty arms - but with hearts full of love and the knowledge that we will be together again. It is so interesting as I reflect on that day - I remember the difficulty and the grief but now I mostly remember the peace and serenity. It was as if the whole world stopped for our little family and we were given a glimpse into Heaven and the way it would feel there. Never in my life had I ever - nor have I since - felt peace and sacredness like that night four years ago. The mercy and the blessings abounded. The earthly grief hit hard. We knew the road ahead of us would be difficult. And it was. But now - four years down that difficult road - I can look back on that night with a heavy but peaceful heart and remember that experience with a sense of gratitude. Gratitude for peace and calmness. Gratitude for a Heavenly Father who knew we would trust Him and gratitude for a Savior who knows every ache and pain, every tear, fear and ounce on loneliness. Who walked with me constantly. And the spirit of a sweet son who often reminds me that he is not so far away and that this is only a time and a season and that in the end, if we are faithful, we will be together again. I love Gavin. I love my Savior and I love a Heavenly Father who has given me an experience that has changed my life forever.

Families ARE forever.

I know it.

Lyrics to Beautiful Heartbreak by Hilary Weeks

2011-10-27T13:06:00.000-07:00

I had it all mapped out in front of me

Knew just where I wanted to go

But life decided to change my plans

And I found a mountain in the middle of my road.

I knew there was no way to move it

So I searched for a way around Broken-hearted,

I started climbing

And at the top I found

Every fear, every doubt, all the pain I went through

Was the price that I paid to see this view

And now that I'm here I would never trade

The grace that I feel and the face that I find

Through the bittersweet tears and the sleepless nights

I used to pray He'd take it all away

But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I never dreamed my heart would make it

I thought about turning around

But Heaven has shown me miracles

I never would have seen from the ground

Now I take the rain with the sunshine

Cuz there's one thing that I know

He picks up the pieces along each broken road.

Every fear, every doubt, all the pain I went through

Was the price that I paid to see this view

And now that I'm here I would never trade

The grace that I feel and the face that I find

Through the bittersweet tears and the sleepless nights

I used to pray He'd take it all away

But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

Beautiful Heartbreak

2011-10-27T12:50:00.000-07:00

Article : Notes From a Dragon Mom

2011-10-27T09:24:00.000-07:00

One of my very best friends sent me this article this morning from the New York Times. She warned me that it would make me cry - and I give you the same heads up now.

It reiterates every lesson I learned from my time with Gavin as a mother. Love your children. Nothing else matters except for your love. I pray I can remember that . . . always.

NOTES FROM A DRAGON MOM

Emily Rapp is the author of “Poster Child: A Memoir,” and a professor of creative writing at the Santa Fe University of Art and Design.
Santa Fe, N.M.

MY son, Ronan, looks at me and raises one eyebrow. His eyes are bright and focused. Ronan means “little seal” in Irish and it suits him.
I want to stop here, before the dreadful hitch: my son is 18 months old and will likely die before his third birthday. Ronan was born with Tay-Sachs, a rare genetic disorder. He is slowly regressing into a vegetative state. He’ll become paralyzed, experience seizures, lose all of his senses before he dies. There is no treatment and no cure.
How do you parent without a net, without a future, knowing that you will lose your child, bit by torturous bit?
Depressing? Sure. But not without wisdom, not without a profound understanding of the human experience or without hard-won lessons, forged through grief and helplessness and deeply committed love about how to be not just a mother or a father but how to be human.
Parenting advice is, by its nature, future-directed. I know. I read all the parenting magazines. During my pregnancy, I devoured every parenting guide I could find. My husband and I thought about a lot of questions they raised: will breast-feeding enhance his brain function? Will music class improve his cognitive skills? Will the right preschool help him get into the right college? I made lists. I planned and plotted and hoped. Future, future, future.
We never thought about how we might parent a child for whom there is no future. The prenatal test I took for Tay-Sachs was negative; our genetic counselor didn’t think I needed the test, since I’m not Jewish and Tay-Sachs is thought to be a greater risk among Ashkenazi Jews. Being somewhat obsessive about such matters, I had it done anyway, twice. Both times the results were negative.
Our parenting plans, our lists, the advice I read before Ronan’s birth make little sense now. No matter what we do for Ronan — choose organic or non-organic food; cloth diapers or disposable; attachment parenting or sleep training — he will die. All the decisions that once mattered so much, don’t.
All parents want their children to prosper, to matter. We enroll our children in music class or take them to Mommy and Me swim class because we hope they will manifest some fabulous talent that will set them — and therefore us, the proud parents — apart. Traditional parenting naturally presumes a future where the child outlives the parent and ideally becomes successful, perhaps even achieves something spectacular. Amy Chua’s “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” is only the latest handbook for parents hoping to guide their children along this path. It’s animated by the idea that good, careful investments in your children will pay off in the form of happy endings, rich futures.
But I have abandoned the future, and with it any visions of Ronan’s scoring a perfect SAT or sprinting across a stage with a Harvard diploma in his hand. We’re not waiting for Ronan to make us proud. We don’t expect future returns on our investment. We’ve chucked the graphs of developmental milestones and we avoid parenting magazines at the pediatrician’s office. Ronan has given us a terrible freedom from expectations, a magical world where there are no goals, no prizes to win, no outcomes to monitor, discuss, compare.
But the day-to-day is often peaceful, even blissful. This was my day with my son: cuddling, feedings, naps. He can watch television if he wants to; he can have pudding and cheesecake for every meal. We are a very permissive household. We do our best for our kid, feed him fresh food, brush his teeth, make sure he’s clean and warm and well rested and ... healthy? Well, no. The only task here is to love, and we tell him we love him, not caring that he doesn’t understand the words. We encourage him to do what he can, though unlike us he is without ego or ambition.
Ronan won’t prosper or succeed in the way we have come to understand this term in our culture; he will never walk or say “Mama,” and I will never be a tiger mom. The mothers and fathers of terminally ill children are something else entirely. Our goals are simple and terrible: to help our children live with minimal discomfort and maximum dignity. We will not launch our children into a bright and promising future, but see them into early graves. We will prepare to lose them and then, impossibly, to live on after that gutting loss. This requires a new ferocity, a new way of thinking, a new animal. We are dragon parents: fierce and loyal and loving as hell. Our experiences have taught us how to parent for the here and now, for the sake of parenting, for the humanity implicit in the act itself, though this runs counter to traditional wisdom and advice.
NOBODY asks dragon parents for advice; we’re too scary. Our grief is primal and unwieldy and embarrassing. The certainties that most parents face are irrelevant to us, and frankly, kind of silly. Our narratives are grisly, the stakes impossibly high. Conversations about which seizure medication is most effective or how to feed children who have trouble swallowing are tantamount to breathing fire at a dinner party or on the playground. Like Dr. Spock suddenly possessed by Al Gore, we offer inconvenient truths and foretell disaster.
And there’s this: parents who, particularly in this country, are expected to be superhuman, to raise children who outpace all their peers, don’t want to see what we see. The long truth about their children, about themselves: that none of it is forever.
I would walk through a tunnel of fire if it would save my son. I would take my chances on a stripped battlefield with a sling and a rock à la David and Goliath if it would make a difference. But it won’t. I can roar all I want about the unfairness of this ridiculous disease, but the facts remain. What I can do is protect my son from as much pain as possible, and then finally do the hardest thing of all, a thing most parents will thankfully never have to do: I will love him to the end of his life, and then I will let him go.
But today Ronan is alive and his breath smells like sweet rice. I can see my reflection in his greenish-gold eyes. I am a reflection of him and not the other way around, and this is, I believe, as it should be. This is a love story, and like all great love stories, it is a story of loss. Parenting, I’ve come to understand, is about loving my child today. Now. In fact, for any parent, anywhere, that’s all there is.

Need A Laugh?

2011-10-26T15:22:00.001-07:00

Jack is our household entertainment around here. Here are a few funny things he has said/done lately that I don't want to forget!

- he calls nipples his "nickles"

- Jack walked into the kitchen the other day naked from the waist down holding his diaper with a disgusted look on his face. He then said, "Change my diaper mom! This is huge wet." (Time to potty train . . . I know . . .)

- When Jack woke up one morning he told Jason, "This leg is cool and this other leg is AWESOME!:

- When Jason put Jack's new shoes on him, Jack asked, "Dad, my new shoes will make me fly?"

- Jack insisted I call him David all day. When I asked him what Jason's name was for the day he said, "Ummmm . . . Grandma Scrotum."

- When I put Jack in time out, he stood in the corner with his hands on the wall singing "I Am A Child of God" at the top of his lungs.

Yeah. I have a regular entertainer on my hands!

Have You Ever Seen A Chubby Skeleton?

2011-10-25T15:20:00.000-07:00

now you have . . .

Murder Mystery Dinner

2011-10-23T15:15:00.000-07:00

Last night we had a Murder Mystery Dinner at our house with some friends. It was so much fun and so funny to see everyone go all out with their costumes.

Owen Is Eight Months Old

2011-10-22T16:20:00.000-07:00

At Eight Months Owen:

is 19 3/4 pounds

is 27 inches

army crawls (especially when food is the motivation)

goes from laying to sitting on his own

loves to fee himself Puffs

is soooo happy and laughs all the time

sleeps through the night

loves to steal Jack's sippy cups

had his first tooth come in on 10/11/2011 with the other on the way

loves his swing (even though he is getting too big for it)

laughs hysterically at Jack when Jack is doing something naughty

went to Disneyland for the first time!

"I Need To Check My Computer"

2011-10-20T16:19:00.000-07:00

Ummm . . . when your kid tells you he needs to "check his computer" is that a reflection of what he must hear everyday?

Owen Is Crawling!

2011-10-19T16:16:00.000-07:00

Owen crawled for the first time today!

I even managed the impossible and caught it on video!

Go Baby Go!

Disneyland

2011-10-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

To me, Disneyland truly is the happiest place on earth. I feel like I have been waiting for years to take my kids there and for them to have fun memories of Disneyland like I do.

We were able to go with my mom, dad, James, Lauren and Becca to Disneyland this weekend. SO much fun!

Jack loved MOST of the rides. The ones in the dark were scary to him and Small World just about sent him over the edged (check out the photo of him in the boat later on in this post). However, he loved the atmosphere and seeing so many of his favorite characters. Cinderella even blew him a kiss as she walked by!

And Owen . . . well Owen belly laughed and grinned from ear to ear the whole time. He was absolutley perfect!

This has been such a great trip. I didn't want it to end!

(I apologize for all the photos - but this is how I keep my family's journal . . . so here it goes!)

(Jack couldn't take Small World anymore . . . )

We stayed at the Disneyland Hotel - and this was the nightlight in our room!

And we are on our way home . . .

Newport Beach, CA

2011-10-13T14:46:00.000-07:00

Today we took the boys to Newport Beach.

Jack loved it.

Owen . . . ehhh . . . it was okay.

Owen hated the water on his feet and the sand in his mouth. He would pull his feet to his chest anytime we tried to dip them in the waves.

Jack on the other hand - well, he ran straight to the water and loved jumping over the big waves.

The kid has no fear.

I am thinking we will do a beach trip for sure next year. Jack could have stayed there for days and days and I am sure in a year's time Owen will like to try it again.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love, Love, LOVE the beach?

(By the way . . . the photo lighting is bad on these pictures. Wrestling the boys and all the beach equipment didn't leave much time for adjusting the camera!)

Thanksgiving Point, UT

2011-10-09T14:28:00.000-07:00

We also visited Thanksgiving Point where my sister is doing an internship. The boys had so much fun!

BYU Game

2011-10-08T14:24:00.000-07:00

While we were in SLC, we met up with Becca, my mom and Aunt to go to a BYU game to cheer on my brother in law Corby!

Super fun.

Super cold!

Good thing I have an awesome cuddling buddy . . .

(Becca and her husband Corby)

Salt Lake City and The Bailey Family

2011-10-07T14:17:00.000-07:00

This weekend we spent some time in Salt Lake City visiting Jason's family. It is always so great to spend time with family! Jack was totally obsessed with his cousins this time. It is all he talked about for days before.

All three boys were lined up on the bed with their sleeping bags watching "Nemo." So fun!

And here is Owen with his Great Grandma Bailey. Her maiden name is Owens - so it is so special to have a picture of her and Owen together!

A Visit From The Great Pumpkin

2011-10-05T14:15:00.000-07:00

Jack and Owen woke up this morning to a surprise left by the Great Pumpkin!

General Conference Weekend

2011-10-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

I love that twice a year we are able to listen to our prophet and apostles teach and guide us during General Conference. I also love that we get to enjoy it in our pajamas at home!

This year we made some yummy food and some fun Halloween crafts to keep little hands busy and little mouths quiet!

Black Eye Boys

2011-09-30T16:25:00.000-07:00

So, I have two boys with black eyes right now.

Jack is recovering from his surgery and last night Owen was hit in the eye with a toy car.

No names named on that one . . . (JACK!)

Guess I better get used to this with all boys!

Jack's Eyelid Surgery

2011-09-29T16:18:00.000-07:00

Jack had surgery on his eyelid today. In June his lid swelled up and looked like this . . . The doctors thought it was an infected sty, but antibiotics did not help it. It has kinda come and gone over the last few months. I finally decided to take him to an eye doctor. We had a recommendation from three doctors to have it removed. They called it a cystic tumor.

Unfortunately, Jack had to be put to sleep to remove it. :(

So, today was the day and he did a great job! It was a little intense (for a multitude of reasons) but overall the experience didn't traumatize any of us too badly.

Jack is now home and doing well.

Just trying not to touch his eye . . . and we are trying to deal with his drama-king-ness.

Owen Is Seven Months Old

2011-09-22T14:25:00.000-07:00

Owen has reached seven months today!

I am so grateful for every mile stone he reaches and everything he is capable of doing.

SO grateful.

This month Owen:

weighs 16 lbs. 9 oz.

is 27 inches long

has started eating lots of different foods

is rolling all around the room to get to where he wants to go

has started to ooch around on his tummy

smiles the biggest smiles I have ever seen

has the best belly laugh ever

had his first tummy bug (yuck!)

still loves to swing

is sleeping in his own room(!!!)
had his first non-family babysitter

is wearing 9 month clothes

is trying to break through a few teeth

Balloons to Gavin

2011-09-17T14:22:00.000-07:00

Okay - first of all . . . check out that serious little boy bedhead.

Seriously?

I think we may have Jack a little confused when it comes to balloons.

Every time we gets one he wants to send it off to Gavin.

Today I heard him saying, "Here Gavin!" while throwing the balloon in the air.

I know it may be a little twisted - but it is nice to hear Jack "playing" with his brother.

Remembering 9/11

2011-09-11T19:44:00.001-07:00

Today we took the boys to see the flag display at the cemetery in remembrance of the 9/11 victims. There are hundreds and hundreds of flags set up. It cause me to reflect on that day. Like so many others, I will never forget where I was when I learned of the attack. I was 19 years old sitting in my college apartment trying to get ready for an early morning nutrition class. I stared in amazement at the TV as I watched the first building burn and the airplane crash into the second building. Later watching them both crumble to the ground.

From that day on - the world has never been the same. It makes me sad that I had 19 years to live in a world where I wasn't aware of terrorism. I know now that it had existed, but it never had been part of my everyday life or vocabulary. It makes me sad that my boys will grow up always knowing what a terrorist is and what they are capable of.

I am so grateful for the men and women who have sacrificed, served, fought and died for our country - to create a place where I grew up safe and a place that they protect for my children.

THANK YOU!

"I Holmet My OWN Hand"

2011-09-10T19:43:00.000-07:00

Today I told Jack he needed to hold my hand as we crossed the street and this is what he said to me,

"No Mom! I holmet (that is Jack's term for "hold it") myself!"

So, this is how he holds his own hand as we cross the street.

I'm thinkin' he isn't quite understanding what the whole point is and why he needs to hold my hand . . .

Labor Day Weekend in Parowan

2011-09-06T19:00:00.000-07:00

Jack said that gathering the candy from the parade was like Halloween!

Yay for small town parades!

Shucking Corn

2011-09-06T18:31:00.000-07:00

Cake The Bug

2011-09-06T17:33:00.000-07:00

Jack found a new friend at the cabin . . . see the bug in the bottom left corner of this picture? That is Jack's bug friend.

He named the bug "Cake."
Not sure why . . .

Later that night Jack told me that Cake went home to be with his mommy and daddy.

Tractor Show

2011-09-06T16:34:00.000-07:00

This was Jack's favorite part of the whole weekend.

Nothin' like a good ol' tractor show, eh?

Iron County Fair

2011-09-06T15:35:00.000-07:00

The Bailey Family in Parowan

2011-09-06T14:38:00.000-07:00

Cowboy Jack

2011-09-06T13:39:00.000-07:00

We always have such a great time spending Labor Day with my family at their cabin.

Jack loooves to dress up like a cowboy too.

Basket Boys

2011-09-05T19:25:00.000-07:00

These are darn cute boys in a basket if you ask me . . .

Toy Story "Movement" Class

2011-09-04T19:23:00.000-07:00

Here is Jack and his buddy at a new Toy Story "movement" class! Each week they go to this class and learn to dance/jump/play like a different Toy Story character. I honestly look forward to it every week as much as Jack does.

And there is always a little of THIS . . . whenever boys are involved.

Especially two year old boys.

Lovely.

The Bribe Of The Day . . . No, The Century

2011-09-03T19:22:00.000-07:00

We had a BUNCH of shopping and errands to run today.

Like a TON.

I bribed Jack with Cars-shaped Mac N Cheese and it worked like a charm!
The errands were a success!

What A Mom Really Wants On Her Birthday

2011-09-02T19:21:00.000-07:00

What more could this mom ask for on her 29th birthday? Brownies, Diet Coke, flowers and a darling homemade card from the boys I love most. It was great coming home to find this waiting for me. I am so lucky!

Here is to year 29!

Demolition Derby

2011-09-01T19:18:00.000-07:00

While we were up in Parowan with Jason's family we attended the Iron County Demolition Derby. What a scene! Jack was pretty entertained - especially as soon as the first car crashed and the tire blew. These boys sure loved it! It was really fun getting to do something we normally wouldn't do.

Dear Gavin

2011-08-30T21:53:00.000-07:00

Dear Gavin,

I miss you so much today.

Every time the fall comes around my thoughts turn to you.

Well, I always think about you - it is like breathing - totally innate.

I love you.

I just want you to know that.

Love,

Your Momma

Bailey Family Weekend

2011-08-29T21:35:00.000-07:00

We had a fabulous weekend with Jason's family at my parents' cabin this last weekend.

Jack had such a wonderful time his cousins.

Here are a few pictures of the fun we had!

Bumbo Butt

2011-08-29T21:31:00.000-07:00

Wanna see something hilarious?

Look at how this Bumbo Seat is stuck on Owen.

Why does he get stuck, you may ask . . . . . . cause of these thighs!

Told ya it was funny!

My Water Babies

2011-08-26T21:07:00.000-07:00

The dog days of summer are upon us right now here in Vegas.

What do you do when it is 110 degrees?

You stay inside or go swimming - those are your two options.

The first option can only last for so long with two busy boys!

So we have spent a lot of time at my parents' house swimming to cool down and expend lots of energy.

Jack wasn't too hot on swim lessons this year, but he has sure warmed up to the idea of the pool since then!

Jack's Big Boy Room

2011-08-25T21:02:00.000-07:00

We spent a good part of the month of August working on Jack's Big Boy Room. We have been making a really big deal out of it so he will be excited to give up the crib and move into a new room.

He is excited.

But has he moved yet?

Nope.

Why?

Cause I am not ready yet!

My baby is growing up!

Owen Is 6 Months Old!

2011-08-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

I know I say this every month but, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!

Owen is six months old today!
This month Owen:

has started sleeping ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE NIGHT (after only two night of making him cry!)

is eating rice cereal, oatmeal, avocados, bananas, pumpkin, prunes and applesauce

is quite the chunky monkey

is wearing 9 month clothing (by the way . . . Jack wore 9 month shorts this weekend. Just sayin' . . . )

has the best belly laugh I have ever heard

loves to watch Jack in the car

still loves to be swaddled and put in his swing to nap

is sitting up totally on his own

rolls all over the floor

loves to swing outside

loves to be entertained by Jack

had a little cold (courtesy of Jack)

is still a sweet, sweet baby who I can't seem to get enough of!

(He is looking at Jack in the picture above. Those brothers really love each other!)

How Jack Eats An Ice Cream Cone

2011-08-15T20:48:00.000-07:00

Tonight after family night we went and got ice cream cones for our treat . . .

"Take A Picture Mom!"

2011-08-12T09:35:00.000-07:00

This morning we put Owen in Jack's bed with him to play for a minute. Jack seized Owen's head, smiled and said, "Take a picture Mom!"

Look at Owen's face!

Oh, What Do You Do In The Summer Time . . .

2011-08-10T09:33:00.000-07:00

. . . when it is 105 degrees outside and you have two little boys who are getting restless?

Girls' Night Out!

2011-08-09T09:26:00.000-07:00

This last weekend we had a girls' night out with my sisters and my mom. We went to Max Brenner's Chocolate in the Forum Shops, had a small spending spree at Mac and then made jewelry boards when we got home! SO much fun!

Love these girls!!

We thought that our jewelry boards reflected our personalities pretty well!

Line 'Em Up!

2011-08-08T22:01:00.000-07:00

Jack has a "thing" right now about lining up his toys, cars, just about anything! Jason has been taking pictures here and there of the different ways Jack has been organizing his stuff.

He is very meticulous . . .

Owen Is Five Months Old!

2011-08-01T07:31:00.000-07:00

This cute rolly-polly is five months old!

He has been such a delight and joy in our lives.

Seriously, I wish I could just sit and cuddle him all day long!

Jack loves him so much and it is fun to watch brotherly love develop between them.

This month Owen:

weighs 17 lbs 7 oz (68%)

is inches 26 3/4 (80%)

had his head buzzed

has started drinking formula more often
has attempted rice cereal a few times

rolls over from tummy to back both ways

sits up on his own for a minute or two before he falls over

loves to swing and go swimming

loves it when Jack pushed him around in the walker

has found his voice - and it is LOUD

has started waking up in the night again . . . ugh

screams a blood curdling scream if Jack comes near him and no one else is in the room

Choices . . . According To Jack

2011-07-30T19:54:00.000-07:00

Here is a conversation I had with Jack today:

Me: Would you like to rock in the rocking chair with mom OR go right to bed?
Jack: Ummm . . . go to Pa's house.
Me: Not one of the choices. Rock or go to bed?
Jack: Take a bath.
Me: That isn't a choice either. Rock or go to bed?
Jack: Play on slide.
Me: Jack . . . rock or bed?
Jack: Go to church.
(Seriously? The kid would rather go to church than rock with me?!)
Me: Okay, Jack - good night.
Jack: OOOHHH! Let's rocky!

Gavin's Birthday Basket

2011-07-30T14:12:00.000-07:00

It has been so nice to have a tradition of Gavin's Birthday Basket. Each year we take the money we would have spent on a birthday gift for Gavin and make a basket for a baby at the NICU where Gavin was taken care of. It feels good to do something good.

This year when we took the basket to the hospital we were able to see the nurse that was at his delivery and who cared for him often. It is always special to be able to see those who knew him.

What To Do On A Day Like This?

2011-07-29T14:05:00.000-07:00

I am never quite sure what to do with myself on Gavin's birthday.

Do I spend the day at the cemetery?

Do I do my normal routine?

I just never really know what to do.

So this is what we did on Gavin's birthday-day.

We went to get doughnuts . . .

And then we built Jack's version of a fort . . .

And spent the day with these two kiddos . . .

. . . cause I am pretty sure that is what a four year old would want to do on his birthday.

Gavin's 4th Birthday Party

2011-07-28T13:45:00.000-07:00

This week we celebrated Gavin's 4th birthday. I had a few friends that did pinwheel parties for their angel babies - so I copied them. It was really fun to have Jack help me make a bunch to decorate the cake and table with.

All morning Jack sang "Happy Birthday Gavin"

I am so grateful for these times where we get to remember and reflect on our time with Gavin and teach our other children about him and the Plan of Happiness.

Dear Gavin

2011-07-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Gavin,

Happy 4th Birthday! It is amazing where life has taken us over these last four years. Your birth and time with us here on earth changed everything. Sometimes I thought we were given the difficult hand in life with losing you - but I have come to realize that this has and is and will be one of the greatest treasures and blessings of our lives. Of course I desperately miss you and wish I could look into those big blue eyes every day - but I know where you are. You were welcomed home into the arms of our Savior and our Heavenly Father. You are with them and so many other loved ones. I am grateful for the knowledge and the knowledge that you are happy. And while life here without you may seem long and a bit lonely at times - there are precious moments I can still feel you by my side as I learn to mother these two sweet brothers of yours. Please come be with us often.

I love you Gavin. You were my first baby and the love I felt for you is one of the most remarkable feelings I have ever had. You are my sweet little bug and I can't wait to one day see your happy face again.

I love you bug.

Love,
Your Momma

Underwear Man To The Resuce!

2011-07-26T13:37:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking potty training may be a challenge with this one . . .

Rain, Rain, Come Our Way!

2011-07-25T13:36:00.000-07:00

Jack has the rain boots!

Now we need the rain!

The Shack

2011-07-24T14:27:00.000-07:00

I have felt quite a bit of trepidation as we approach this upcoming week with Gavin's 4th birthday. It feels much more difficult for me this year than it did last year. That is just how my grief comes.

In waves.

As I have been anticipating his birthday this year I find myself at times questioning our whole experience and the challenges we were faced with. Even though I have faith and know that God is kind and merciful - I can feel myself being tempted and persuaded to believe otherwise. I begin to wonder why He would let something so difficult happen to Gavin - to my husband - to me - to our families.

As I reflect and remember those three short months with Gavin I have prayed for peace and comfort. Today I received an overwhelming feeling of comfort as I sat with a sweet child in church who has some special needs. Once again, I felt His loving arms wrapped around me and I KNOW that this is all for a reason and a purpose and the only thing we have control over now is how we respond and react to our feelings and emotions.

Last month for book club we read the book "The Shack" by William Young. There was a passage in the book that I marked and have read over and over.

"The Great Sadness would not be part of his identity any longer. He knew now that Missy wouldn't care if he refused to put it on. In fact, she wouldn't want him to huddle in that shroud and would likely grieve for him if he did."

The Great Sadness comes and goes in my life now. While I always have a very, very special place in my heart for Gavin, I try to not let the sadness overpower me. What once began as a shroud of grief has opened up - letting rays of sunshine in an warming my aching heart. Of course there are days where the clouds come and the rain pours, but they are scattered now. I can choose to let in the sun and feel His loving embrace during those difficult days.

My Kings

2011-07-19T12:24:00.000-07:00

The other night I had some crowns on my counter for a church girls camp activity. Jack went nuts looking at them so Jason helped him make one for himself! And one for Owen too, of course.

Blast From The Past

2011-07-18T13:42:00.000-07:00

My mom saved this Ohio State sweatshirt for me so my kids could wear it!

It has been fun to dress the boys in it.

(Me)

(Jack)(Owen)

A Glimpse Into My Future With Boys

2011-07-17T13:39:00.000-07:00

Awhile ago I found that Jack was crawling into Owen's bed when Owen was supposed to be napping.

This must be a glimpse into my future.

Those mischievous little guys!

Who's Kid Is This Anyway?

2011-07-16T13:38:00.000-07:00

Today Jack INSISTED on wearing this outfit.

Pajamas from Alcatraz and his Ohio State jacket . . . WITH the hood.

I tried to convince him that it wouldn't be comfortable in 112 degree heat but he wouldn't have it any other way.

Wonder where he gets that fire and stubbornness from . . .

(And if you don't know where it comes from . . . that would be from ME)

Owen's First Rice Cereal

2011-07-14T12:23:00.000-07:00

We are at that next stage with Owen! He started rice cereal today! I feel like the time is flying by with Owen. It makes me happy to see him progressing and growing - but a little sad that he isn't a little baby anymore!

All in all, he did pretty well!

What Do You Do . . .

2011-07-12T12:22:00.000-07:00

. . . if your stuffed monkey has a tummy ache?

Answer according to Jack . . .

I found Jack's stuffed monkey "de-stuffed" after a recent nap. When I asked why he pulled it apart he said, "He had a tummy ache."

Time With Grandma and Grandpa Bailey

2011-07-11T15:00:00.000-07:00

While we were gone in San Francisco, Jason's parents watched the boys. I was so relieved to know the boys were in good hands and with people who loved them so much. The boys had a great time with Grandma and Grandpa Bailey and were spoiled MUCHO!