Sunday, September 28, 2008
My Sweet Baby Gavin,
I found these pictures of you tonight. You were spending some quality time with your Grandpa Bailey and I remember watching him look at you. He loves you so much - we all do.
I wonder what was going through your mind when these pictures were taken. Did you know? You always look so wise - you must have known. You must have known your time with us was limited because your presence has left such an impression on our lives. You worked miracles in your three months with us. You continue to teach me every day.
I am always in awe that I was chosen to be your mother.
I love you Buggy.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
And on a side note - the Sunday after Youth Conference I was asked to teach the 12-13 year old girls in our ward every Sunday. Hmmmm . . . they say we are prepared for all things. Should have seen that one coming!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I was tagged by my awesome sister in law Trish. So, here it goes . . .
I am: a woman, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a wife and a mother.
I think: about all the things I SHOULD be doing.
I know: much less than what I thought I knew when I was 16.
I want: to have a healthy and happy baby boy that comes home with us.
I have: three boys - Jason, Gavin and this new little monkey.
I dislike: when people try to control me, dig their way into personal topics and are ignorant.
I miss: Gavin - like CRAZY.
I fear: ummm . . . just about everything right now. Yeah, I know, I really need to work on that.
I hear: my IPod selection of 80's music! Heh heh heh.
I smell: my vanilla lip gloss.
I crave: a Diet Coke - I'm trying to limit my consumption to three a week.
I search: for answers. I want any indication that this new little boy does NOT have what Gavin had.
I wonder: if Gavin and his new baby brother having a fun time together.
I regret: ever leaving Gavin's bedside for a single minute.
I wish: I could have a family picture with all of my children.
I love: my family.
I care: less about things that are petty and stupid than I used to.
I always: feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world to have Jason for a husband.
I worry: about everything. You name it, I can worry about it.
I am not: as patient as I should be.
I remember: every day I spent with Gavin. I can read about a day and remember the exact feelings I had during those moments. It's kinda overwhelming.
I believe: that we all consume ourselves with irrelevant and trivial matters when there is so much more we should be concentrating on.
I sing: in the car. ALWAYS. Poor Jason. Poor Jason's ears.
I don't always: let things roll off my back. It's awful, I have to learn to let things go.
I argue: with myself. I'm my own worst enemy.
I write: on my blog. It's therapeutic for me. Plus, it makes a great journal at the end of the year.
I win: at Mario Cart - don't let Jason tell you otherwise.
I lose: at Guitar Hero. Don't ask.
I listen: to my mom and dad. They are always full of great insight.
I don't understand: why I was so lucky to get to be Gavin's mother.
I can usually be found: at work, home, or my parents house.
I need: um, is it okay to say Valium? Don't worry . . . I'm not taking any. :)
I forget: A LOT! Isn't that normal when you are pregnant? Isn't it called pregnancy brian?
I am happy: most of the time now. Last year I thought I couldn't ever be happy again, but time has worked miracles.
(duck . . duck . . . duck . . . goose- I tag ANYONE who wants to play too!)
Friday, September 19, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
And on a funny note . . . this is what Jason asked the ultrasound tech yesterday when we were measuring the baby, "Now, he is supposed to look like a human baby now, right?" Apparently he was having a difficult time seeing what we were talking about on the ultrasound. HEH HEH HEH My funny hubby.
Monday, September 15, 2008
"The Lord has promised us that as we 'search diligently, pray always, and be believing, . . . all things [will] work together for [our] good' (D&C 90:24). That doesn't mean that everything will be perfect or that we will not have any trials, but it does mean that everything will be okay if we just 'hang in there.' Ours is the opportunity to 'be . . . an example of the believers' (1 Tim. 4:12), and the Savior has promised that 'all things are possible to him that believeth' (Mark 9:23). So believe in yourselves. Believe that you are never alone. Believe that you will always be guided."
Elaine S Dalton,
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
"Holding the lifeless body of her dead child like a rag doll, this female gorilla stares at the corpse in shock and bewilderment, unable to accept that her baby is dead. It is a picture of pure grief. Inconsolable, hers is the raw pain of any mother who has lost a child. While nature may indeed be red in tooth and claw, this moving image of Gana and her dead son Claudio seems to show that members of the animal kingdom can feel the pain of loss just as deeply as we humans. "
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
Gavin had his PDA heart surgery this morning. It was a huge PDA according to the cardiologist and required the largest clip to close it. It is a permanent titanium clip that will stay with him but not cause "beeping" at the airport. He did well during the surgery without any brady cardia. As of this afternoon he was given a blood transfusion as his numbers were getting low. The doctors has cautioned us that the next 2 to 3 days could be challenging for Gavin as his body recovers from the surgery . . .
. . . We feel that Gavin has a great purpose here. His short life has greatly affected many people. We are so grateful for all that we have learned and are continuing to learn from him and because of him. Our hope and prayers are that he is comfortable and free of pain and that he always knows that he is surrounded by people who love him. Thank you for all your support, prayers and love. Please continue to pray for this little family.
Love, Grandma Cindy
I can't believe it has been a year since Gavin's heart surgery - and surprisingly it was the easiest of all the surgeries Gavin endured! Life has changed so much in the matter of 13 months. However, the last paragraph of Grandma Cindy's email could be repeated time and time again. I still pray for Gavin - that he is happy, free of pain and knows how much he is loved.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Lindsay, I just want to wish you a wonderful birthday and tell you that I love you. You're the best. Hope your day is special. See you at lunch.