"Thank heaven there is tomorrow. Because there is tomorrow, all our yesterdays have meaning and all our dreams have hope."

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

A Mother is a Mother

Recently I saw this picture . . .

And read this article . . .

"Holding the lifeless body of her dead child like a rag doll, this female gorilla stares at the corpse in shock and bewilderment, unable to accept that her baby is dead. It is a picture of pure grief. Inconsolable, hers is the raw pain of any mother who has lost a child. While nature may indeed be red in tooth and claw, this moving image of Gana and her dead son Claudio seems to show that members of the animal kingdom can feel the pain of loss just as deeply as we humans. "


. . . and I realize that a mother is a mother. This gorilla mother is shown in this picture cradling her three month old son who had passed away from a suspected heart defect. The article reports that the mother carried her deceased child with her for weeks until she finally laid it down in an apparent acceptance of death. So, I ask this question . . . how different are we as mothers who grieve?
No, I am not going to go into an dissertation about the theory of evolution - or how closely related "they" say we are to monkeys. However, I don't think we are all that different . . . on a motherly level.

Gavin's heaven day is rapidly approaching and I find myself full of anticipation and trepidation. His passing was peaceful. It was beautiful. He was taken from our arms to the loving arms of our Savior. In the angst of my darkest day I felt the love and peace of the Spirit. The staff at PCMC were so kind to us and let us have as much time with Gavin as we needed after his sweet spirit left his body. Jason and I had precious time with him. Time that is sacred to us.
The memory is bittersweet. I wish desperately to hold him again - and I understand why it took this gorilla mother so long to finally accept her son's death. It's been nearly a year since Gavin's passing and I still can't seem to accept it on a regular basis. I still occasionally think," Why me? Why Jason? Why him?" Then I am reminded of the sweet promises we have and the knowledge that we will be a family forever. I feel gratitude for a son who is so obedient and faithful.

5 comments:

The Seeley Family said...

That was a really touching post. You can really seem the love that this mother has for her baby in the picture. It is so amazing to me. Thanks for posting that.

Team Simmons said...

Lindsay,
I don't remember how I found your blog but I am glad I did. You are truly an amazing person. Your outlook on life and your testimony of eternal families is evidence of the truthfulness of the gospel. Thank You for sharing your stories and experiences. Take Care,
Lauren Simmons

Heather and Billy said...

Thank you for this post. I love that you call Gavin's passing his 'heaven day.' I have never known how to refer to the day my mother passed away but I would like to use that. You will probably always look toward that day with trepidation and anticipation but eventually the day will not be so consuming...not that the memory will be lessened or diminished in importance...but you will find the acceptance gradually.

Sarah Garner said...

Lindsay,

I found your blog by "blog hopping". I am the mother of an angel baby as well, and I am always looking for other angel mommies. I have found so much hope and strength from these amazing women and you are no exception. The Lord must have amazing things in store for your little family to trust you with such a special little boy and to trust that you will make it through such a heartwrenching trial.

I don't understand the complete scope of the pain you have felt because my daughter never felt any pain, she was stillborn at 35 weeks. But I do know what a blessing it is to have such a valient spirit join your family.... and how much our arms and hearts sometimes ache to have them here instead.

My thoughts and prayers are with your little family.

Sarah Garner
Savannah's Mommy

Marcae said...

What a sweet picture. You always have such a way fo expressing your feelings. Thank you for the many things you have taught me and continue to teach me.