Mother's Day is still a difficult day for me. I think it always will be. I listen to the primary children sing to their moms at church and it makes my heart break over and over. I can't help but think that I should have an almost two year old boy sitting beside us.
I can't help but think about the way my life SHOULD have been.
The way I had it all planned out in my head . . .
But sometimes life takes a different course and we are forced to accept change and find peace with our "new normals."
Even with the thoughts of Gavin and the longing to hold him - especially on a day like today . . . I would be ungrateful if I didn't show my gratitude for my sweet son Jack. Sunday morning Jack brought me Cinnamon rolls in bed (with dad's help, of course) and did a funny little dance to brighten my day (also with dad's help). Then Jack gave me a silver ring with his and Gavin's names engraved on it. A perfect gift from the boys I love most.
I have to say this Mother's Day was the slightest bit easier than the last one. I cuddled Jack all day long and told him how much I love him. I never want him to go a day without knowing how much happiness he has brought into our lives.
Jack and Grandpa spent a good half hour napping together. Isn't that cute?!
3 comments:
Mother's Day at my house is always a mixed emotional day. While I am so grateful for my mom, I cannot help but ache for the sense of loss I feel with the loss of my own baby. While I never knew my child, I loved it from the moment I knew I was pregnant until the moment I lost it. That sense of grief is great and powerful and never quite leaves. Some days are harder than others - like yesterday of course. Knowing I could have a 3-year-old now is a little hard to comprehend at times. Lindsay Thanks for always being so honest in sharing your feelings. It helps in more ways than I think you will ever understand.
Mother's Day still hurts a little for me too. Cora's due date was Mother's Day that year, so the day is intrinsically connected to her.
But having a living child to cuddle that day is so nice. Erin smothered me with kisses while cuddling on the couch with me, and it just brightened my day.
So, you're allowed your mixed emotions, I think. I mean, we're only human. Is it too horrible to want ALL our babies with us?
Happy Mother's Day. You are a beautiful example of someone who has truly inspired me to be a better mom...a better person.
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