Four years ago we watched as our sweet baby Gavin returned to Heaven. Heaven received another Angel that day and we were left with empty arms - but with hearts full of love and the knowledge that we will be together again. It is so interesting as I reflect on that day - I remember the difficulty and the grief but now I mostly remember the peace and serenity. It was as if the whole world stopped for our little family and we were given a glimpse into Heaven and the way it would feel there. Never in my life had I ever - nor have I since - felt peace and sacredness like that night four years ago. The mercy and the blessings abounded. The earthly grief hit hard. We knew the road ahead of us would be difficult. And it was. But now - four years down that difficult road - I can look back on that night with a heavy but peaceful heart and remember that experience with a sense of gratitude. Gratitude for peace and calmness. Gratitude for a Heavenly Father who knew we would trust Him and gratitude for a Savior who knows every ache and pain, every tear, fear and ounce on loneliness. Who walked with me constantly. And the spirit of a sweet son who often reminds me that he is not so far away and that this is only a time and a season and that in the end, if we are faithful, we will be together again. I love Gavin. I love my Savior and I love a Heavenly Father who has given me an experience that has changed my life forever.
Families ARE forever.
I know it.
4 comments:
You are such an inspiration and a wonderful mother. Thanks for being such a great example of how to deal with the hard situations in life. Not everyone can take such horrible grief and turn it into a strong testimony and never-ending faith.
I felt that same sort of peace when I delivered Cora. It wasn't her actual passing, since she died prior to birth, but at that time, holding her, such and intense spirit enveloped us. When I think back on it, it's not remembering her birthday that is the hardest, but rather the afternoon prior when they confirmed that her heart wasn't beating. Her birth was such a peaceful experience. Amazing that He gives us those tender mercies.
((hugs))
Oh Lindsey... You just made me cry!! Remember when you felt like you'd never get here? I'm so glad you have. It comes and goes but it's such a tender mercy to have that painful remembrance gradually replaced by a remembrance of the peace we were given.
Love you so much, Lindsay.
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