So Long 2011 . . .

Dear 2011,

You have brought so much to our lives this year.

Jason and I decided to describe you with these three words:

JOY

GROWTH

CHAOS

Love,

The Bailey Family

Jack The Toolman

Aunt Lauren and Uncle James gave Jack some tools this year for Christmas! He loves to wear his tool belt!

One Of Those Days

The holidays are over. The Christmas decorations are down. The house is organized and all new toys have a place. The chaos of traveling is through and there are a few moments of quiet. Sometimes the quiet is bad for me. Maybe I create chaos to help avoid bad days like these. I don't know.

Today I felt anguish again.

Did I mention it was a bad day?

I miss Gavin so much.

I think over and over about what his three months here on earth were like. I remember the pain of losing him - but the peace of knowing he is mine forever too. It is such a battle in my mind on days like this.

My mom always knows the right thing to say to me. Today she sent out this quote in an email. Thanks mom. You are the perfect mom for a crazy girl like me. :)

President George Albert Smith Jr. said:

"If I were to think, as so many think, that now that my beloved wife and my beloved parents are gone, that they have passed out of my life forever and that I shall never see them again, it would deprive me of one of the greatest joys that I have in life: the contemplation of meeting them again, and receiving their welcome and their affection, and of thanking them from the depths of a grateful heart for all they have done for me.
When we realize that death is only one of the steps that the children of God shall take throughout eternity, and that it is according to his plan, it robs death of its sting and brings us face to face with the reality of eternal life. Many families have been called upon to say good-bye temporarily to those they love. When such passings occur, they disturb us, if we will let them, and thus bring great sorrow into our lives. But if our spiritual eyes could be opened and we could see, we would be comforted, I am sure, with what our vision would behold. The Lord has not left us without hope. On the contrary he has given us every assurance of eternal happiness, if we will accept his advice and counsel while here in mortality.
This is not an idle dream. These are facts."

Christmas Day

Merry Christmas!

Christmas this year at Jason's parents' house was wonderful. The boys had a great time opening gifts and spending time with family.

Oh how I love the holidays!

Mery Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Polar Express

We spend Christmas up in Salt Lake City with Jason's family this year. One of the REALLY fun things we were able to do was to go on the Polar Express in Heber. They have a fun old train up there and we all wear pajamas and see Santa on the train! It was so fun to have all of Jason's family together and to watch Jack play with his cousins. He sure loves them!

Jack loved the train. He danced up and down the aisle and sang Christmas songs. As for me - nothing makes me happier than seeing my boys happy. It was a WONDERFUL evening.

Thank you Grandma and Grandpa Bailey!

Owen Is Ten Months Old

Owen is 10 months old!

This month Owen:

weighs 20 lb. 3 oz

is 28 inches long

is standing up all the time

loves to crawl and chase after Jack

has developed the same high pitched scream Jack had ( and . . . ummm . . . still has)

likes to fake laugh

claps his hands when you ask him too

sleeps through the night

still loves his swing to nap in

has tried to crawl up the stairs twice and has fallen down them twice

seems to always have some bruise on his cheek for forehead from a tumble

is a sweet and fun loving boy

All He Wants For Christmas Is . . .

A big green tractor.

Yes, Santa knew we wouldn't be at our house for Christmas so he brought Jack and Owen their gift a little early this year!

When Jack sat (and screamed) on Santa's lap this year he told Santa he wanted a green tractor. When Jack left Santa with a candy cane in hand that night - he was confused. He said, "But I wanted a green tractor . . . not a candy."

Well, my sweet Jack - Santa heard you and now you and Owen will have fun riding in your new green tractor!

Thank you Santa!

Mortensen Christmas Party

Tonight we had my family's Christmas party. Since we are spending Christmas with Jason's family this year - we had an early celebration with mine. Oh, how the boys loved pre-Christmas!

I swear Jason loves the toys are much as the boys do!

Christmas Crafts

This month has been full of festive crafts here in the Bailey home! Thanks to my great friends (and Pinterest, of course) we spent all night making these fun holiday decorations for our homes!

A Few Fun Family Pics

Jolly Old St. Nick

Jack and Owen saw Santa last night.

Through Jack's crying/screaming/terror he said, "I want a green tractor!"

This picture is one for the books!

The Magical Forrest

Tonight we took the kids with some friends to Opportunity Village's Magical Forrest.

Jack loved the train and carousel.

Owen was mesmerized by the lights.

The kids loved it and we deemed it a successful outing!

(Cause all you parents out there KNOW when an outing is NOT successful!)

Christmas Box Angel Tree

Every December 6th the cemetery does a program based on Richard Evans' book "The Christmas Box Angel." They light up a huge Christmas tree and we can hang ornaments with our child's name engraved on it.

This is our fifth year going.

FIVE years.

Our fifth Christmas.

Sometimes I just miss Gavin so much it hurts.

Sometimes it all makes sense and I feel so much peace.

But the miracle in my life is that I am at a place where I can feel both joy and grief.

Five years ago I thought I would never feel happiness again - but I do.

I still miss him.

I still grieve and my heart aches.

But I have been given much to bring me joy and happiness.

It was so nice to go tonight and be reminded of all the things that are TRULY important.

Life is good.

Gingerbread Cookies

The boys helped us make gingerbread cookies tonight for family night.

Jack was sure proud of his cookies!

Biker Dude

Jack has learned how to ride his "pedals" as he calls it. (His bike) This is another one of his great outfits he wears around while he rides his bike.

Owen's Sucker

Owen had his first sucker today while Jason gave him a haircut and a bath. He screamed hysterically when it was gone.

Must take after his mom . . .

Today we took the boys to do a little Christmas shopping.

This is how Owen rolls in the shopping cart.

It's like he owns the place!

Gavin's Christmas Tree

Gavin's Christmas Tree is my very favorite Christmas decoration in our house. It is bittersweet to decorate it every year - but I love the glow and reminder of peace it brings into our home.
I love my boys!