The holidays are over. The Christmas decorations are down. The house is organized and all new toys have a place. The chaos of traveling is through and there are a few moments of quiet. Sometimes the quiet is bad for me. Maybe I create chaos to help avoid bad days like these. I don't know.
Today I felt anguish again.
Did I mention it was a bad day?
I miss Gavin so much.
I think over and over about what his three months here on earth were like. I remember the pain of losing him - but the peace of knowing he is mine forever too. It is such a battle in my mind on days like this.
My mom always knows the right thing to say to me. Today she sent out this quote in an email. Thanks mom. You are the perfect mom for a crazy girl like me. :)
President George Albert Smith Jr. said:
"If I were to think, as so many think, that now that my beloved wife and my beloved parents are gone, that they have passed out of my life forever and that I shall never see them again, it would deprive me of one of the greatest joys that I have in life: the contemplation of meeting them again, and receiving their welcome and their affection, and of thanking them from the depths of a grateful heart for all they have done for me.
When we realize that death is only one of the steps that the children of God shall take throughout eternity, and that it is according to his plan, it robs death of its sting and brings us face to face with the reality of eternal life. Many families have been called upon to say good-bye temporarily to those they love. When such passings occur, they disturb us, if we will let them, and thus bring great sorrow into our lives. But if our spiritual eyes could be opened and we could see, we would be comforted, I am sure, with what our vision would behold. The Lord has not left us without hope. On the contrary he has given us every assurance of eternal happiness, if we will accept his advice and counsel while here in mortality.
This is not an idle dream. These are facts."