I started writing this last week, but it was too difficult to complete. Here is my second attempt:Gavin James Bailey's baby blessing. October 27, 2007 at Primary Children's Medical Center.
Last Monday - October 27, 2008 - I laid in bed remembering all that was happening on that night one year ago. My mind wandered to that night where I laid in a hospital bed holding my baby boy who was in the process of drifting off to Heaven. I held him in my arms and Jason wrapped us both in his. My heart broke as the three of us laid there together that night - and as I reflected on those last few hours it was like a time machine of emotions. All of those same feelings came back. Jason and I talked about the memories of that night. The good and the difficult as well. We both came to the conclusion that the peace we felt overshadowed the pain that night. Still, this year I cried as I thought about that night and the emptiness that we now feel without our sweet baby Gavin here.
As we talked about last year, we received a tender mercy. I felt our new little boy kick and squirm all over. Jason and I spent the rest of the evening feeling this new little life kick and move. I can't believe how much I already love him!
It amazes me how Heavenly Father takes and gives. We have been told that we will get back more than is ever taken away. I like to think that Gavin's return to Him was a joint effort between the four of us.
It just felt a bit ironic remembering the night Gavin left us while I felt this new sweet boy kick and remind us that happiness will happen again. There is a quote from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland that says, "You have had happiness and you will again." I think he is right.