I am a mom.
I have two little boys.
One is "here"
and one is "there."
I fully intend on having each boy know the other even if they aren't having the opportunity to grow up together. I talk to Jack every day about his big brother Gavin. We have Gavin's pictures next to Jack's on our picture wall. They are brothers that will grow up separately.
My belief (http://www.lds.org/) is that if a child passes away before the age of accountability (8 years old) they were valiant and righteous enough that they didn't need to prove themselves here. We believe those that die before the age of accountability inherit heaven without going through this life and the trials and tests we all encounter here.
Here is where the dilemma for a parent comes into play:
As we raise Jack and teach him about his big brother Gavin, we have to be careful not to "idolize" Gavin. My father has often said, "a dead man does no wrong." Jason and I have talked at great lengths about this concept. It is our hope that we never make Jack feel inadequate. I hope that I can raise Jack with a love and respect for his older brother, but to also have him understand how much we love him too.
Jack has been such a joy in our lives. He has already brightened so many sad places in my heart. I honestly never thought I could be happy like this again after Gavin passed away. Everyday I spend with Jack I love him more and more. I find I am so grateful for all the "normal" things I wouldn't have noticed had we not had our experience with Gavin. Jack has helped me feel that love unconditionally again that a mother craves to give.
I love you my Jackster.