I don't know what to say about yesterday. It was a really bad day. I thought I would just post quickly about it. Yesterday Gavin had a nurse who wasn't too attentive to his needs. I just never felt like I could leave him - so I didn't. I sat by his bedside for nine hours yesterday, and I am glad I did. Around 5:00pm he was hooked up to an EEG machine to look for possible seizure activity. The nurse was suctioning out his nose and he became very upset. We are not sure if he had a seizure, or if he held his breath - but he stopped breathing completley and eventually his heart stopped. It only took a few seconds to get him going again, but they did call a code blue and about thirty (yes - I really mean thirty) people came to his bedside . . . crash cart and all. It was terrifying. I bawled and freaked out. But, I have to say there are VERY good people in this world. As he started to drop the mom of the baby next to me jumped up and held on to me. When the director of the NICU heard the code, he immediately was at Gavin's bedside and once he saw that Gavin was doing better he walked over to me and hugged me. He kept his arm around me until Gavin was back on track. He never left my side. I guess my point is . . . people care. People really care not only about Gavin, but about us too. The mom next to me could have just watched as it happened, but she didn't. She came to help in the way she was able to help. I want to be like that - helping people even if I don't know them that well.
Gavin has had a better day today. He is eating through his G-tube (just a very small amount) but so far it's working. Once it's working we will be on track to go back to Vegas. Now I am heading back up to the hospital to do physical therapy with Gavin. It's my good part of the day. :)
I hope I am not too depressing . . . it's just a roller coaster. It's a better day today.
4 comments:
Lindsay - I am very impressed with the way you are handling everything. My mom takes care of my sister who has lots of special needs so I know first hand about many of the things (G-tubes, not-so-caring nurses, incredible doctors, etc.) that you are talking about...but what I also know from watching my mom is that it takes a very special woman to be given such a very special child. I already see similarities between my own mom and you - a true angel. You are not negative...every word shines with all the emotions that you'd be expected to feel. I have so much I'd like to say but since this is a blog "comment" I'd better stop. If you ever need/want some company please email me (maliashaw@hotmail.com). I would love to come and visit.
Malia
Wow...reading your last two posts I thought sometimes when it rains, it pours. But the benefit of rain is the rainbow that always comes at the end. Heavenly Father promised us that. You are both such wonderful parents, don't ever beat yourself up for feeling the way you could only be expected to. You are still in our prayers and we can't wait for you to come home. Please let me know if there's anything I can do. :)
We just want you both to know how much we love you and continue to think and pray about you. I can't even imagine what a difficult time you are both having. We pray that you will find a way to be comforted. Talk to you soon!!
Lindsay~ My prayers are with you in this time in your life. You are an amazing person. To watch the amount you have grown is so wonderful. Gavin was so blessed to have you as his earthly mother, but boy you were blessed to have him as a son. Remember he is in the hands of the lord and that is were we all want to be someday. Love, Holly
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