The Christmas Box Angel Memorial Service

On Thursday December 7, 2007 Jason and I went with my parents to the Memorial Service at the cemetery where Gavin is buried. This is a Christmas service for all families who have lost children. The inspiring story behind the service is the book called The Christmas Box Angel by Richard Paul Evans. This book is about an old woman who seems to disappear every December 6th. By the end of the book, we find that every year this woman visits to the grave of the child she lost and lays a white rose in the arms of the angel monument built for her child. There is much more to this book . . . but I would hate to ruin the ending for anyone interested in reading the book. Every year the cemetery where Gavin is buried does a memorial service and families can lay a white rose in the arms of the angel monument built in the children's section. After the service and the dedication of the Angel for the year, they light up the beautifully decorated Christmas Tree in the children's section and they sing Christmas Songs while we decorated our children's graves. Perhaps this is morbid to many of you . . .

I guess I the most thought provoking part of the evening was that I realized for the first time WE ARE NOT ALONE! I know in theory many people have had to endure the loss of a child, but it is difficult when YOU are the one coping with the loss. I would imagine there were over three hundred people there - people from all over the city came to remember their children. As odd as this may sound, it was actually a calm and peacful experience. We were able to talk with a few of the parents there at the service and find out about their children and experiences.

As Jason and I, along with my parents were decorating Gavin's little Christmas Tree, a little girl about two years old walked over to us and with a sweet little voice looked at me and said very matter of fact-ly, "There is a baby there. I need to see him. I need to see him!" She was so small and you could tell her mother was embarrassed she was asking to see Gavin. I talked to the little girl for awhile and explained to her that this was my baby and he had passed away. Her mother then told her that Gavin was like her two brothers and sister. This poor mother had lost three children. I didn't have the words left to say to her except to say I was sorry. What more can you say to a mother who was aching so badly for her three children? Needless to say once again I felt like I was not alone.

It was a beautiful night, and we were able to set up Gavin's little tree by his grave site marker (his headstone still isn't in yet). I decided I would add a few pictures of decorating his tree . . . perhaps this is odd. It felt odd. I have to say this isn't how I expected to spend my first Christmas with Gavin, but it reminded me there are many other families who know this pain. There are many other people who need comfort during this holiday season. I hope we can all take the time and step out of our pain to help and comfort those that need comfort.