"Thank heaven there is tomorrow. Because there is tomorrow, all our yesterdays have meaning and all our dreams have hope."

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Gavin's Christmas Tree

Sunday afternoon Jason and I set up Gavin's Christmas Tree in our bedroom. We have the perfect spot for this beautiful baby blue and silver tree which given to us the Christmas after Gavin passed away. I love this tree. I love laying in bed at night looking at the tree and all the symbolism it has for me. This year we didn't decorate it with all the ornaments - Jack is just too curious. :)
(Both this tree and the family tree are decorated about 3/4 of the way down. )
As I put the little lamb on the top of the tree I felt that same jab in my gut. The one that is always lurking around waiting for the moment to remind me what I am missing - what we have gone through - what should have been - the pain and the beauty of those three precious months with Gavin. The three months I spent in the presence of an angel and felt heaven so close.
Jason and I kinda chuckled as we set up the lamb and the lion by the tree. It fits our boys perfectly. The lamb is like Gavin - calm, peaceful, innocent and the lion is like Jack - full of energy, happiness and spunk. I just may be the luckiest mother ever to have two beautiful boys.

I am so grateful for these tangible memories of Gavin.


Brittanie said...

I don't have a tree for Cora, but I do have the ornament my mother gave me the Christmas I was pregnant with her. It's two bears decorating a tree, labeled with my and Matt's names, and a gift under the tree is labeled "for baby." I pulled that out of the box....and had that stab in the gut. I see pictures in the back of my mind of what should be, but I am so grateful for what IS as well.

I love your stuffed animals. They're so cute! (our tree is bare the bottom 1/4 too)

Brandi said...

Love Gavin's tree and the lion and lamb are sooo cute just like your boys! Merry Christmas!!!