2008 Christmas Box Angel Memorial

This was our second year attending the Christmas Box Angel Memorial at the cemetery. Once again I was overwhelmed at how many people were there - and the people who were there for the first time. It broke my heart. For those that don't know about the Christmas Box Angel Memorial - it is a service Palm Mortuary does every year for parents who have had children pass away. Every parent is given a white rose which is then placed in the angel's arms. It is such a kind and thoughtful service.

My parents went with us and we set up a little Christmas tree for Gav and decorated his headstone with some fun Christmas gifts. We were also able to purchase Christmas ornaments with Gavin's name on it to hang on the Christmas Tree in the children's section.

The holidays aren't an easy time when you are missing someone. Last year was such a blur - I don't remember much about it at all. Maybe that is a blessing . . . but this year the holidays have been filled with mixed emotions for me. We are truly grateful and excited to have another little boy in the next few weeks, but the pain of not having my son here is sometimes all to raw and real.

It's hard to gather as a family, laugh and joke while knowing that there should have been a little 18 month boy with crazy blond hair running around and getting excited for Christmas. I miss him. However, I am so grateful for the promise of eternal families. It is the one thing that I can hold to during these lonely days without him here. The knowledge that he is our son forever is a blessing I treasure most.