Happy Nine Month Birthday Gavy

Happy 9 Month Birthday Buggy!

I can't believe it. Today you would be nine months old! That means you have spent as much time out of my tummy as you spent in my tummy. If you were here and healthy right now, I think you would be crawling around and getting into mischief. That sounds good to me.

Sometimes I think about all of the things we are going to miss out on together. It makes me sad. I won't ever see you kick a soccer ball or lose a front tooth. You won't ever ask me to borrow keys to the car and I won't ever get to watch you fall in love (at least here on earth). I think about all of the things we are going to miss out on and then I remember. . . I remember all of the things we did get to do together, Gav. I have changed your diaper (and a trach!). I have cleaned up your boo-boos and calmed you when you were upset. I have held you and rocked you and I have played with you on the floor. I have kissed you and cuddled you and held your little hand. I have looked into your eyes and heard your thoughts. I have given you a bath and washed your hair. I have prayed and fasted for you. I have been there to witness blessings given to you and I was able to hold you until you took your last breath. I am a lucky momma Gav, because of you. I have felt so much peace because of you and I have felt Heavenly Father's love because of you.

I miss you so much, Bug - but I am grateful for you and Heavenly Father's eternal plan. I am grateful for the tender mercies that Heavenly Father gave us. He blessed our little family with you. I know you didn't have to stay three months, but you did. You gave your mommy and daddy something to remember and good times to reflect on. How grateful I am to have been part of this experience. I think of you everywhere I go. Your daddy says that you are the first thing he thinks of in the morning and the last thing he thinks about at night. We love you Gav. And whatever you are doing, please know that you were and continue to be loved.

Love,
Momma