"Thank heaven there is tomorrow. Because there is tomorrow, all our yesterdays have meaning and all our dreams have hope."

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Sometimes I Wonder . . .

. . . what would Gavin be like today? Today he would have been eight months old! So many questions run through my mind on birthdays and anniversaries that remind me of him. Eight months old. What does an eight month old do? If he were here and healthy, would he smile? Would he laugh, cry and make funny faces? Would he sit up or roll over to his tummy? Would his bright blue eyes shine the way they used to? Would his hair have stayed so blonde? What would we like to play with while daddy was at work? Would we go on walks around the park when daddy came home? Would we laugh and roll around on the ground and play with him? Would we read him books and sing to him at night? Would we bring him to our bed on Saturday mornings to cuddle and love him?

I hope this isn't too negative, but we wonder these things because we sometimes feel a little cheated of earthly-parent experiences. Even with feeling cheated, we do know that we truly have some amazing blessings as well. Blessings that we can't even comprehend at this point in our lives. And because I am starting to understand the bigger picture I wonder other things too . . .

. . . what is Gavin doing today? Is he running and playing with other little boys and girls in heaven? Is he showing and teaching people about the truly important things in life? Is he helping fulfill a greater cause than we can understand here? Is he watching over us? Does he know that we are so grateful we had three months with him? Does he know that his sweet pictures still make us laugh? Does he know we love him and miss him? Is he counting the days to be together again like I am?

Just a few things I wonder about on days like today . . .

4 comments:

Kajsa Farnsworth said...

Gavin is most certainly showing and teaching people the important things in life. He has already accomplished that through his amazing parents.

You have helped me be stronger in dealing with Brady's challenges which seem so small in comparison to Gavin's challenges. Whatever Gavin is doing right now he is certainly very proud of his parents and surely counting the days until he can be in your arms again!

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment on our blog. We also think of you, Jason and Gavin very often.

Malia said...

There's a song by Kenny Chesney called, "Who You'd Be Today..." I think of it often and thought of it as I read this sweet post. I can hardly wait for the day when all those earthly things you'll wonder about will become a reality..and they will!

Sam and Lacey said...

Jess- I too often wonder those same things. Lets just hope that him and Ava and Ella are up in heaven helping each other out and playing together. But most important of all teaching the gospel to others. I often feel cheated too. I am glad I am not ht only one. I know that they are counting the days till we can be together again!

Baldwin Fam said...

I diddo the comments. Gavin's teaching others, he knows Jesus and Heavenly Father, possibly spends a little time with them now and again, he pops in to check on you two, and I'm sure he plays every minute he can get in. If you think about, I'm sure he has a very busy schedule. :)